You have probably heard people talk about identity in the self-improvement space. Maybe you don’t know what identity is. Perhaps you don’t know why it’s important. Perhaps you don’t know how to change your identity. Well, we’re going to cover that right here.
Fear and identity
identity and fear are very closely linked together. I bet you probably know that fear is a survival mechanism, but here’s the catch.
Fear is a survival mechanism not only for your physical self, but also for your psychological self (identity).
So that means if you see yourself as a man, you will be afraid of becoming a woman. Now, 95% of the time the fear is subconscious but if you use your mindfulness muscle, you will realize that you are afraid of things which threaten your self-image.
In fact, your self-image is so strong that people literally rather PHYSICALLY kill themselves than PSYCHOLOGICALLY. I’ll give you some examples:
- A suicide bomber killing himself physically. (in order to preserve his identity as a “good Muslim” because he was conditioned from a young age to think that being a good Muslim means “sacrificing” himself for Allah or whatever suicide bombers think)
- A soldier that goes into war to “die for his country” (He sees himself as a patriotic soldier)
Now, let’s say you see yourself as a lazy person, that means you will be afraid of being productive because being productive would literally kill a part of your self-image. That’s also why people are so resistant to changing their opinion. If they were proven wrong, it would hurt a part of their identity.
Now, of course, there are nuances and levels to fear and identity (just like with everything in life). For example, you would be probably more willing to kill a part of your identity that says “I am lazy” than the part saying “I am always right”.
It’s a lot more complicated than this, but this is all you need to know in order to see the importance of identity. It is THE number 1 thing you should change if you want to truly change.
All change comes down to an identity shift
How to overcome fear
There are a number of ways to overcome fear, but before we get into HOW to overcome it, let’s ask ourselves this question:
Is it possible to completely transcend fear?
YES! It is completely possible to transcend fear. After all, fear is just an illusion inside your mind and doesn’t really exist.
How do you completely transcend fear, you may ask? Well that’s pretty complicated, but the short answer is: By a very deep emotional realization that fear does not exist, this is deep spiritual stuff that I don’t want to get into right because it’s super complicated.
Now, rationally you may be thinking “Yes, but I already know fear is an illusion”. Well, good luck explaining that to your amygdala. (the part of the brain responsible for fear.)
Now, Lucky for you, there are other ways for overcoming fear which I will give you right now right here.
- Visualization/being okay with your fear: Close your eyes right now and imagine your worst fear happening to you RIGHT now. Whether that would be your girlfriend getting raped, your mom dying, or you losing all of your material possessions (the worst one of the 3). Now that you are visualizing that, be OKAY with it. That’s exactly right, I’m telling you to be okay with your mom dying. Now, most of you will NOT be able to be okay with that, and that’s obviously fine. Try it first with something smaller. Like, for example, you being rejected by that girl you like and maybe, JUST MAYBE, you will be able to be okay with your mom dying as you practice this.
- Shift your identity: Now this one. This one is powerful. The whole reason fear exists is to protect your identity and your physical self, but technically that is an identity too, if you didn’t see yourself as a human, you wouldn’t be afraid to physically die. So in the end it all boils down to your identity. How do you shift your identity? Well, I will be covering that in the next section.
- Subliminal messaging: I have 2 words for this: FUCK. ME. I have never in my life seen something so powerful, yet so underrated. You can use subliminals for everything including changing your mindset, your identity, your traits, high self-esteem, self-love, and EVEN, PHYSICAL CHANGE. (if you don’t believe me go visit r/subliminal but just a warning, don’t be on Reddit for too long, might ruin your mental health). Go check out my full guide to subliminals to learn more. But for now, all you need to know is: they are fucking powerful if you allow them to be.
- Mindfulness: Being mindful of your fear is a REALLY powerful skill to have. Not just because you will know exactly what is holding you back, which is powerful in and of itself. But also because you will be able to lean into the fear and just feel it. (also, without mindfulness, you wouldn’t be able to even know you fear something.) You can level up your mindfulness skill with meditation, which is the number 1 habit to build.
- Affirmations: Pretty powerful stuff. This works really well if you want to shift your identity. You will learn more about affirmations in the “how to shift your identity section”.
- Lean into your fear: How do you “lean into your fear” you may ask? Well, it’s pretty simple, although not easy. First, you need to use your mindfulness skill I talked about earlier, in order to become actually aware of your fear (you ain’t going to lean into it if you don’t know it exists). Next, you just lean into it. That’s it, pretty simple.
Tell me what you fear, and I will tell you who you are. Tell me who you are, and I will tell you what you fear.
How to shift your identity
Now, as I have quoted earlier, all change comes down to an identity shift. So you better take this part seriously if you want me to change your life, dear reader.
Okay, so the question is, how do you shift your identity?
Here is how:
- Subliminals: As I have said above, Subliminals are fucking powerful. I don’t think I need to elaborate further.
- Affirmations: pretty self-explanatory. You have probably heard about them. If you didn’t here is how they work: you create a sentence, an AFFIRMATION, for example “I am productive” and you repeat this, 1-5 times a day for 5–10 minutes each until it becomes your new identity. See how powerful that is? Now your identity will literally become I am productive, and you will literally be afraid of being lazy. Cool right? (Now obviously there are more parts to your identity than just you being lazy or productive, so you will still feel some resistance because there will still be other parts of your identity). Also, a disclaimer I want to give you. Don’t think this will magically work just because you, repeat some sentences and then sit on your ass thinking you will shift your identity and magically become a productive person. No, no, no, that’s not how it works. You need to use affirmations as a supplement to your hard work and not as an excuse to be a weak, non-disciplined motherfucker. You need to be strong and work hard if you want to succeed in life. Period.
- Make it your normal: What do I mean by this? I mean, you need to do stuff in order for you to shift your identity, as I’ve said earlier, you can’t just shift your identity sitting on your ass repeating affirmations to yourself. If you ever feel resistance to doing something, just fucking do it while repeating your affirmation of choice. THAT’S how you shift your identity. By providing proof to your subconscious that you ARE that person by doing the stuff the person you want to be would do.
Now, an important note to make here is: Do not wait until the fear is gone. You won’t eliminate all fear just because of shifting 1 part of your identity. Your identity potentially has millions of parts.
Summary
- Fear is a survival mechanism for your identity
- Identity is stronger than physical survival
- All fear is identity based
- All fear is an illusion
- It is possible to completely transcend fear
- You can overcome fear by visualizing and shifting your identity.
- You can shift your identity using affirmations, subliminals, and most importantly, making it your new normal.
- Do not wait until the fear is gone, unless you completely transcend fear, it will never leave you.